From baby learning to walk the first step, to preschool learning to use chopsticks, tie shoelaces, and after school to study difficult problems, interpersonal communication, learning piano swimming and other special skills, children in different age groups will encounter difficulties that need to be constantly crossed. In fact, the process of children's growth is the process of constantly meeting challenges and overcoming difficulties. What parents have to do is not to help their children fix everything, but to learn to let go and let them face the challenge alone.
When children go to school, they are socialized. In kindergarten, in addition to the daily self-care ability, but also to learn a variety of skills to face and adapt to the surrounding environment; primary and secondary, to meet the challenges of higher education and interpersonal relationships. It may seem \"tough \", but these challenges can be very educational. For example, when a child overcomes difficulties and has mastered methods, he gains a sense of control and self-confidence. Every time a child experiences a small setback, he will find a way to find a breakthrough, and this experience will provide him with the courage and confidence to meet the bigger challenges in the future. This spiral rise is the only way to produce children with the ability to resist setbacks. On the other hand, do not let children face setbacks, parents think of everything ahead of time, clear the obstacles ahead of time, children frustrated, the first thought will be to give up. This is called \"learned helplessness\" in psychology.
Letting children face challenges is not about letting parents lose their hands, but about building courage and confidence in their normal education. Here's a way for parents:1. Start by helping your child set achievable goals. The goal that can be easily achieved, which psychology calls the "nearest development zone ", is the goal that the" jump "can achieve, its essence is the goal decomposition. Take the first-grade school jump rope as an example, if the goal of jumping 100 is set at once, it will frighten the child. Let's say," Come on, let's jump first!" When the child jumped one, he praised him:" Look, we did it!" The key is for parents to see the child's efforts, do not only look at the child's shortcomings. 2。 Persevere and practice every day. When a child can jump five or even 10, ask the child an important question -" How did you do that?" The child would probably say," I don't know ". At this time, parents should help their children to sum up, whether we practice every day, with the right method-toes landing on the ground, arm arc rocking rope. The child will nod to confirm and internalize into the heart. 3。 The gesture of agreeing to "victory" with the child. Design a small gesture together, such as a high-five to indicate "yeah, practice is useful ". Whenever you do something, do it with your child. Over time, parents and children can form a tacit understanding, which is also a great psychological support for children. "Practice is useful" is like a seed, planted in the child's heart, will slowly sprout and grow. If the parents just say empty," mother believes you, you are the best!" But the lack of the whole process of overcoming difficulties is of no help to the child.
It should be reminded that when children face challenges timid, discouraged, feel that they cannot, to help children build a growth-oriented thinking. For example, when a child says "I just can't learn math "," I can't memorize English words, I can't remember ", parents should first identify with their children's emotions and say," Maths is really hard" English words aren't easy to memorize. Because only by identifying with the child's emotions can we communicate with the child's heart. Next, tell the child," you may not have learned the right way yet, let's see how to find it!" This sentence is like opening a window for a child to see "light" and follow your direction to find it. ▲
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